Hardest 9 Kings achievements and how to get them

The rarest achievements before 1.0 were Wall Street and The Spire Slays (2.5% each), King of Kings and Your Grindness (3.3%) and Spoiled (3.9%). After the 1.0 update your achievement percentage drops because 45 new ones were added; the old ones are not lost. All 99 objectives are on the achievements page.

Needing many copies of one card

You only hold a card’s copies that you were dealt, so these need a way to multiply them. The usual tools are Clone (King of Nature), Echoform and Extraction (Rainbow), and fighting the king who owns the card so it appears as loot. Low difficulty gives you more years to collect.

Achievement	Requirement	Rate	Method
Wall Street	Vaults on every unlocked plot except the base	2.5%	Play King of Greed or keep Greed as an enemy for Vault loot; buy Vaults from the Jack of Structures. Fewer unlocked plots means fewer Vaults needed
The Spire Slays	9 Spires in the kingdom	2.5%	Play or fight the King of Spells; Clone Spires
Double Double Double Dragon	9 Dragon Dens	5.4%	Fight the King of Nomads and Clone the Dens
Wonderwall	9 Wallmakers	7.7%	Stone’s Impervious perk gives Wallmakers when you lose a life
Suicide Squad	99 Bombers on one plot	14.7%	Procreate or Farm on a Bomber plot

Long runs

• Spoiled (pay 999+ gold for one re-roll, 3.9%): re-roll prices persist for the whole run and rise by 10 each time, so you need about 100 re-rolls. Spread them over loot, merchants and attacker re-rolls in a gold-rich Greed or Endless run. Gold and re-rolls.
• Time Bender (reach a negative year, 4.0%): play the King of Time and chain Portals (each sends you 2 years back; Wormhole adds more) in the early years. Shrines speed up Portal levels. King of Time.
• Nobel Prize (peace with every enemy at once, 7.8%): every king you are at war with must be at peace in the same year, which normally needs several peace diplomats. King of Time Portals replay the diplomat year. The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Enemy (war with every king at once, 5.0%) uses the same loop with the war diplomat.
• Die Hard (survive to year 99, 25.2%): Endless mode; year 99 is the true ending.

Grind achievements

• King of Kings (King difficulty with every king, 3.3%): any difficulty above King also counts. Start with the King of Nothing or Greed and leave Nature for last; How to beat King difficulty and Builds for every king give the plan per king.
• Your Grindness (all nine kings at level 9, 3.3%) and Crownmaxxing (one king at level 9, 33.3%): experience scales with years played and the difficulty’s multiplier, so high difficulties and long runs level fastest.
• Master of Nine (1.0): win once with each king.

So You Think You Can Speedrun

Beat the game in under 9 minutes (10.6%). The timer counts real time, including pauses. Players report success on Peasant with fast troops (Thief or Bomber plots) or King of Greed, playing cards quickly and skipping slow decisions. 1.0’s fast UI animation and disabled battle effects options cut animation time.

1.0 achievements with a trap

• Ragequitter: forfeit one battle. This Game Sucks: lose three lives in a row. Do both in a throwaway run.
• Cursed: completely miss a blessing; leave the blessing plots wrong on purpose.
• Smurf: play on Peasant with a king at level 9 or higher.
• The Devs Rigged My RNG: a Library fails three times in a row; its chance is 50% per year.
• Now What: reach a stalemate.
• Chain Chain Chain Reaction: a Concabulator triggers a second and then a third. Level-up chains.